This is what I know: I may have mentioned that I demanded an OPCA Poodle Consultants Summit. So, I have had to intensify my squirrel’s eye surveillance on the HUGE wriggling-alien-dust-moppy-thing in preparation for this OPCA Poodle Consultants Summit – which is to be held on… on… March 15 – the Ides Of March!! There is ever more mounting evidence that I (m.e.) have personally collected against the HUGE wriggling-alien-dust-moppy-thing!!! Consider this, to date it has:
- Leapt right into the kitchen sink as Momma was washing the OPCA Poodle Consultant breakfast bowls… tempting all manner of universal chaos!!
- Dropped its 100% Chicken Breast Jerky chew into the water bowl!
- LOST MY tennis ball in the snow (fully recovered by (m.e.) however I am NOT disclosing that fact to ANYONE – especially the alien dust moppy thing)!!!
- It has repeatedly dropped its Sweet Potato Treat into the water bowl!!!! HELLO!!! As in multiple times and LEFT IT THERE!!!!
- Gotten so darn excited that it has stepped into the water bowl!! That’s right, STEPPED – as in FEET into the water bowl!!!
- Strewn all of MY toys everywhere!!! Scattering them in nearly every room in the house… in an obvious attempt to frame (m.e.)… thereby… revealing its fraudulent claim to have graduated from the Jupiter Hotel Services School of Good Housekeeping. Seriously? No SP would be so blatant in his or her lies… and then behave in such manner as to be easily be found out!!! Hello!!!!
- It carries on hysterically when placed in its house as though the whole world were coming to an end!! Say What??? Hello!!! If the whole world were coming to an end, you run for SHELTER!!! That means you want to be in your house!!!
- It p-e-e-d on Miss Adele’s bed! Right in front of Miss Adele, (m.e.) and Momma!!! No SP puppy does that!
- It has taken the corner of the toilet paper and then RUNS!!!! Making toilet paper streamers!! Say WHAT???!!! And then… toilet paper pieces all over!!! Hello!!! This is not the House of Origami Crafts!! This is the House of OPCA!!! And that is not appropriate conduct!!
- It… it… it thought Momma’s whirlpooling bath was a BIG bowl of water!!! And… well… as I may have mentioned… the HUGE wriggling-alien-dust-moppy-thing has considerable deficits with regards to water bowls… like as in putting its FEET into the water bowl, and dropping its CHEWEY and SWEET POTATO TREATS into the water bowl… so why would when its thinking Momma’s whirling pool bath is a GREAT BIG WATER BOWL be any different?? It wasn’t! It wouldn’t ! It didn’t !! It JUMPED right into Momma’s serene whirling pool bath WITH its home–made– full–size BISCUIT!!! Splish! Slash! Biscuit in the water!! Shriek, Oh!!! Alien dust moppy thrashing about & 100% water logged and whirling water EVERYWHERE!!!
Alien Dust Moppy – you SP puppy faker – you alien-dust-moppy school dropout – you wriggling-whirling-dervish of chaos: BEWARE the IDES of MARCH!!! More later…