This is what I know: Momma has clearly lost all her sensibilities… and I have serious concerns that Dad will soon be as loony! From what I can discern, Momma is a spy agent. It’s crazy!!! I know!!! But wait till you hear the evidence – it is 100% irrefutable!
It all started a short few days ago… maybe a week… possible a bit longer but not by much. Momma started having tête-à-tête conversations… the kind that makes (m.e.) suspicious… the kind that makes (m.e.) believe she’s got a plan of some sort that hasn’t been openly discussed and submitted for a proper Poodle vote. So, I’ve been keeping a flying squirrel eye on her… on account of I don’t want her going so far off the deep end that she places the kingdom of (m.e.) in jeopardy… like maybe doing something INSANE… such as donating all the sweet potato treats in the whole world to orphan dogs around the country without so much as a Poodle Consultant vote!!! (breathe….).
So, like I might have mentioned, I’ve been keeping a flying squirrel eye on Momma… and then I start to hear things… not things of imagination but really important things… the kind of things that make (m.e.) conclude that Momma’s a spy agent and soon the whole House of OPCA is going to be under siege! And yesterday… there were so many MORE tête-à-tête conversations going on that I just knew – like I always know – that this was the day of doom, the day the whole world of the House of OPCA would be forever changed… and we were all about to be imprisoned all on account of Momma being a spy agent about to do some irrevocable covert act that would bring mayhem to the House of OPCA.
And then… it happened!!! She brought a HUGE wriggling dust mop home!!! Say WHAT???!!!!!!!! A HUGE 23 lb brown wriggling dust mop!!!!!!! At first I wasn’t sure what the heck it was and I kept my distance!!! The thing was scary!! Like it was from the outer limits or something! Miss Adele… well… let’s just say she is FAR TOO TRUSTING!!!!! She walked right up to the furry wriggling dust moppy thing and greeted it. Yes! How unbelievable is that??? She attempted to greet – like “howdy do” – to a HUGE 23 lb brown wriggling dust mop! BIG MISTAKE!! Yep! BIG MISTAKE!! The thing leapt out… and made some kind of squeak and ran off and jumped up on Momma! It was amazing if it weren’t so darn terrifying to see a HUGE 23 lb brown wriggling dust mop moving about the House of OPCA in such a manner.
Then things got even weirder… Dad said: “Come on pup! Let’s get you settled in…” Say WHAT???!!!!!!!! Pup??????? Has he gone bonkers???? Calling a HUGE 23 lb brown wriggling dust mop that just squeaked and then ran off to jump up on Momma qualifies as SCARY ALIEN not “pup!” Hello!!!! There is no way that scary alien thing could be confused with a “pup!” A pup knows that when a fellow canine greets you, that it’s proper to bark bark and try to dominate the other canine… not squeak!!! A pup knows that it’s proper to take up all the bed space or at the very least sleep on a lux dog sofa bed NOT lay under the desk all snuggley at Momma’s feet on the hard floor! A pup knows that at the first sight of a dog coat to bolt as fast as possible to one’s private den! A pup… well… a … well… heck let (m.e.) not discuss what a pup knows any further on account there is something even more serious going on!! Momma and Dad ought to know this is NOT a pup!!!! It’s a HUGE scary alien 23 lb dust mop!!! And now it’s all settled in QUITE comfortable in the House of OPCA!!!! Say WHAT???!!!!!!!!
Gotta think this through some more….