This is what I know: There is strength in numbers. I also know one should never go into the “Court of Momma” without demanding a jury of one’s peers. So, today, on account of a bit of notice I got from my “peers”… that I might not have been found GUILTY of certain crimes against Momma’s glasses while I was at home ALONE… which its not how things are supposed to be… (breathe…)… well I attempted to make an appeal in the “Court of Momma.” At first… I was rather apologetic… and stood directly behind her chair… staring sneeringly into her back with profound intensity as she worked on something called “year end client stuff” (whatever!).
This approach was entirely unsuccessful in having “Judge Momma” accept my plea for an appeal. In fact, she said: “Yes Elita, I am aware you are very close behind me… and I would love to guarantee that I will not disturb you or otherwise cause you discomfort when I must reposition my chair, but I am unable to provide that guarantee as my progressive eye glasses have been mangled beyond repair…” (mangled as in mutilated?!)… “and therefore I am incapable of seeing all distances that I had otherwise been able to determine. You see, Miss Elita…” (and then she peered over those orange cyber glasses)… “I require those glasses in order to move about the cabin freely with reasonable confidence that I will not run into things or harm precious Poodle toes…” (precious Poodle toes!!).
I began to think I was doomed. But then I remembered what I know: There is strength in numbers. So I very carefully army crawled back over to “Judge Momma’s” side and ever so gently extended my paw to scratch just a little at “Judge Momma’s” leg… and when she turned ’round from her client concerns, I explained the significance of my position: I had it on good account that I was wrongly convicted of mangling Momma’s glasses while I was home ALONE without anyone to alibi (m.e.). Evidence has surfaced across the globe that I HAVE BEEN FRAMED… (despite my alleged confessions)… and I noted in particular that Bubbles, the Super Duper Hero Diva Dog, had spread her pink cape… and with the help of LEASH members uncovered a conspiracy of the Poodle Blackmailer villain “Onaccounta Badenov’s” nefarious plan to scandalize Poodles everywhere!!!
Whew! Now Momma’s pretty smart (although not as smart as Poodles)… and mostly fair about things… so she said that I could be granted an appeal or pardon if I had a minimum of 12 jurors of my peers… as well as two alternate jurors that could provide testimony on my behalf. How cool is THAT?!!!!!!
THANK YOU BUBBLES and all the LEASH members!!! You are 100% AWESOME (well… assuming I do in fact get the appeal… or pardon that is…)
(ps: Adele I could really use your support and return to security patrol… that’s also what I know…)